In my early fifties I had mounting fears of being a bag lady. This was following a serious episode of depression. I was not sure I could continue working. Then it passed and my stamina and active listening skills returned and I was once again the therapist I wanted to be. I was working with children doing sand play therapy. Miniature figures of people and animals are used to make pictures in a large box of sand. It helps children to express feelings and tell their stories. I enjoyed the healing power of sand play.

 As I went to work each day reality had its own way of sneaking in and taking over. My worries about money were critical when my partner was diagnosed with cancer and we were financially strapped most of the time. My fears of being a bag lady were even more pronounced and heightened by the additional cost of her medical care.

I knew I needed relief from the daily fear of being a bag lady. Some of the folks I worked with were homeless and I heard in detail how they suffered. I wondered if I had the stuff to make it as a homeless person. What choice do you have when you are one paycheck away from being homeless? I talked with friends and could not come up with a game plan let alone quiet my obsessive fears of actually being a bag lady.

Then in one of my dreams I saw my self as a bag lady in the middle of winter on the streets of Minnesota. I noticed that I was carrying two brown paper bags which of course, made me an official bag lady. One bag was full of sand and the other had miniature toys. I saw myself going from one family shelter to another and doing sand play with children. It was a freeing and blessed dream.

The magic of being able to work with children in the shelters helped me to see that I could make it as a homeless person. The power of the dream gave me a shift away from daily anxiety and fear of being homeless. I realized I had the stuff to make it on the streets. The promise was in the two brown bags and children in each family shelter