I just returned from a brief vacation with a friend. We went to Missouri for her to purchase a Recreational Vehicle. It was a relaxing and pleasant trip with much laughter and sharing stories from our past. The trip was only three days long but we had so much fun that it seemed like several days. The comfort of being with a friend who also laughs a lot is just what I need. We appreciated the beautiful country side of hills and lushes green and we laughed at each others corny jokes.

What was important about this trip was that I was just a friend. I was not a friend with bipolar who was moody or irritable. Nor was I overly sensitive when my friend would poke fun at me when I couldn’t find the words I needed in a conversation. It was simply two friends spending time together. We have known each other long enough to have a level of trust to share feelings and life stories

We spent the bigger part of two evenings and into the night telling life stories. At one point my friend asked if I talked with friends during some of the difficult times in the past. I had to admit that I did not share my daily troubles with anyone in the past. It was even more difficult to share my feelings and thoughts. I don’t know that I knew how to share my emotions and thoughts in years past. It was almost as though I was being choked by some aspect of bipolar. Expressing my feelings and thoughts was out of the question. Many of the folks that I knew did not know I had bipolar. My co-workers were unaware that I had bipolar. For the bigger part of my life I did not have a therapist. All in all I was primarily alone and could not express my experience with the illness bipolar.

My friend is a therapist and a wonderful listener. I still find it difficult to talk about the more painful experiences of my life. I shared what seemed an outline of my life story but didn’t land on any one particular story. I am fairly sure that I will share more in time. What is it about this illness that it can rob us of so many of the ordinary yet important aspects of life? Sharing with a friend and building a history with each other by telling past history is so important in building a connection. I don’t think I need to answer this question. I think I need to enjoy the relationship with my friend and let it be a healing part of my journey to wellness.