Friends and Healing
March 9, 2008 12:26 pm Friends and HealingI have a relaxed smile on my face that is not forced and lightness in my heart that comes from simply connecting with a friend. It was a simple lunch with plenty of time to share this and that and a flow of back and forth conversation. The best thing was there was laughter. It was not the forced kind or the polite kind just that place inside that is tickled by what is said and how it is said and is just plain fun. Thank you friend!
Having friends is new for me. I suppose for many reasons but primarily lack of experience and awkwardness. I can be sarcastic and say; what is the big deal? A 59 year old woman has a friend. But it is very special when your grownup life has primarily consisted of extended family, a partner and very few friends .I thought about stopping with the first paragraph and not get into serious stuff but I want to share this and hear from others. I wish that each of you has friend like mine. Laughter is essential in healing from bipolar.
Does anyone relate to what I am saying about friends? I would love to hear from you!
I will give you hints to see if you can understand where I am coming from. I know I am not the only one to have difficulty with friendships.
.Clue #1 I only had boys as friends until I was twelve and at that point I had boys plus one tomboy friend.
Clue #2 I was sexually abused when I was nine. This changed how I saw others and did not develop many friendships.
I would welcome your comments
March 9th, 2008 at 4:59 pm
You sound very familiar. Same childhood, years of schooling, years of advanced degrees (I’m an MD), years spent working long hours left little time for finding meaningful relationships with ANYone, let alone a woman friend. Just recently in the past 2 years have I made 2 friendships that will last the test of time. I can tell, already. And we do laugh. A lot. They are not afraid of me.
March 9th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I can relate to having boys as friends until my early 20’s. Then I got married (twice) and divorced (twice). Now at age 53, I can say I have a true female friend. We’ve been friends off & on for 10 tears. We’re really tight right now. And I know what you were saying about laughter, it’s so spontaneous and freeing! No antidepressant I know can produce those kinds of feelings.
March 10th, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Ruth and Char
I am sorry to enter these comments together.I am such a newcomer to all of this that I made a mess.I did e-mail both of you and my sister helped me to understand this part of blogging. I will respond to your e-mails as well as make comments on the blog. “Goofy” Annie
March 29th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
I am so happy to have found your blog. Your story is my story.
I too…am/was a therapist. I worked with addicts and alcoholics, though I was sure that many, like myself also had bipolar.
I am a rapid cycler as well, and my illness has progressed over the years. I had been misdiagnosed, and was put on various anti depressants over the years. I always tried to explain that these meds always made me feel worse, and of course the doctor did not take me seriously. I struggled in therapy for myself, mostly due to privacy issues. Having therapy with a collegue is not always a good thing.
After I lost my mother, I went into a severe manic state that lasted for over a year. A year in which I did a great deal of damage to myself and to others. I can relate when I read you say that you have memories that leave you with guilt and shame. Sometimes that shame washes over me so badly that it is a physical sensation.
I have support from my husband and my grown children…but not from my siblings. They have just written me off as crazy I am afraid.
I also miss my work as a therapist. It was an integral part of my life..who I was, and to learn to be me doing something else is difficult.
I dont want to overwhelm you with this, so I will sign off now, but I will return. Your blog will be a blessing for me I think.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:16 pm
What can I say? Our lives are very similar and the way you write is open and honest. I too will be blessed by your comments. Do you have a blog? I love your writing and look forward to more exchange of thoughts and feelings.
You did not overwhelm me at all.Feel free to express yourself! Thanks for your comments