For most of my life it has been an effortless delight to tune into my funny bone. While I am not ticklish my funny bone has easily reverberated and laughter has flowed like an old friend. Even when depression resided in my gut, humor was the cloak that kept others from being sucked in by my darkness.

I could never remember jokes unless you count some corny jokes that were based on word play from Jr. High. When I was captured by the rhythm of repetitive word play I would get caught up in the way it sounded in my mind then I would tell more and more. Ok I will share one of the “jokes” just for the purpose of making my point. I promise I will only tell one! The joke would go, “So have you heard of the new book in the library?” “It is the author’s first published work, Rusty Bedsprings by I.P. Nightly.” Can you believe I actually told these jokes in professional meetings? But I never told just one, they came in a series of three.

I love to make repetitive noises and sounds. I channel my desire to make noises by doing bird calls. The Mockingbird is my favorite because there is an exchange of sounds. The sounds I made would wake up my funny bone and I would smile and at other times laugh out loud. Yes, I recognize that noise making can be a “symptom” of manic energy. It is sad how quickly some folks are to judge and label. I was silenced by friends and family members by them asking that I stop making the irritating noises. Little did they know that I simply turned my noises inward and made the purposeful sounds in the back of my mind? I also made quiet whistling sounds that were typically remnants of tunes.

Despite the fact that my funny bone struggles to be present on a daily basis I celebrate that I am on the path to mending it. I recognize that it takes more than simply telling jokes to know that my funny bone is awake. I do work each day to experience things that bring a smile or a laugh. It also means letting go of the pain of past losses and the shame of mistakes that I made in the past. While I have not completely let go of the past I am embracing the precious moments of laughter that come my way each day.