Grieving From The Inside Out
March 27, 2008 2:00 pm Friends and HealingI miss doing my previous work as a therapist. I loved working with children and adults and feeling that I was making a difference. Now I have relatively little human contact in contrast to the eight or nine hours spent in doing therapy. I enjoyed listening and felt at ease giving comments that at times seemed helpful. I spent thirty years as a therapist and I am now grieving the loss of my work.
I had an increase in rapid cycling bipolar and especially more manic than I had experienced for many years. It was obvious that I could no longer work and I am now on disability. The frequency of mood swings is less but I have considerable problems in thinking and concentrating. This has made it difficult to make new friends. It has also made it difficult on-line. I enjoy doing this blog and hope it helps me connect with others. It is difficult doing the writing and it takes me a long time to write. It is especially hard to make comments. I am not sure why but I feel awkward and “out of it” when I try to express my thoughts and feelings. It is similar to when I first meet people or think they might be friends. I have always felt this way with people.
March 27th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
thats one of the good things about online. You can wait, collect your thoughts, respond later when you feel up to it…… You dont have to come up with an “appropriate response” right off the cuff. Besides many of us are in the same boat and understand being uncomfortable. Take your time. This isnt a test and you arent being judged.
March 27th, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Raine, Your comments were so helpful and right on. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and sensitivity. I hope you are doing ok. I have followed your last post and wish you the best. Again thank you. Annie
March 31st, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I also find it especially hard to make comments unless I already know someone fairly well…and even then I sometimes have difficulty.
I found you via a comment on Crazy Tracy’s blog. I read a few posts and rushed off to tell my best friend about your blog, only to discover that she (Raine) had also found you via Tracy’s blog! Anyway, I have been lurking a bit and am now “delurking”. My blog is currently password protected due to a cyber-stalker from years ago resurfacing. I am considering moving my blog…new blog name, new screen name, etc. I will be back, and I will let you know if/when I move.
April 1st, 2008 at 1:06 pm
It is great having you join me at my blog. Raine has made a number of comments. I look forward to your comments on future posts. Thanks for the interest in my blog.
April 3rd, 2008 at 1:26 pm
I also found your blog from Crazy Tracy’s blog.
I don’t seem to really have trouble making friends, but I can’t keep them for very long. Because of my borderline personality disorder, I seem confident and interesting one minute and a bitch the next. Normally my friends get tired of my mood swings very quickly and they stop being my friends.
April 3rd, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hello BPD- I too have problems keeping friends. I tend to have one friend at a time otherwise it gets too confusing.
Thanks for visiting again. Annie