Setting Aside Depression
April 23, 2008 1:05 pm Getting the Help You NeedCelebrating wellness gives me periods of peace and energy. I am aware that I could have problems that threaten my stability. I am trying to take practical steps in daily life to recognize unnecessary emotional baggage and focus on healing from the wounds of the past several years. I have a number of losses that I need to grieve. My goal is to be able to focus on the grief work for brief periods of time and then set it aside for a while. I hope to find a grief group to do this work.
In a practical sense these goals are spiritual because they tap into my faith and hope. The spiritual part of me has been weak for a long time. I can only take one step at a time to restore my spiritual self. There are a number of reasons why I am feeling more hopeful yet still feel vulnerable. I recognize I could easily struggle with rapid cycling at any point in the future.
One part of my foundation of wellness includes my medications and my trust in my pdoc. I am on a number of medications that address specific problems in my functioning. If I do not know why I am on a particular medication I ask my pdoc and she explains her reasoning for placing me on that particular medication. I take what she says and see if it fits and if I am benefiting from that medication. If I have some doubt about the effectiveness of the medication I discuss it with her.
I am aware that there are authors of numerous blogs that suggest folks should go off medication because it is harmful. Some suggest that alternative therapies are more effective than pharmaceutical medications. The debate seems to go back and forth and I respect the opinions of such well intentioned authors. I believe it does not have to be an either or decision. It is different for each individual and some, including me, would suffer if medication was stopped.
Most folks know that bipolar illness is a spectrum disorder. That means it is not just one set of symptoms but a range of symptoms that is within this disorder. There is also a range in the severity of the illness. Some people with mild symptoms may find it helpful to primarily focus on alternative therapies. Other individuals with very serious symptoms and rapid cycling may have no other choice but to try medication as a first course of treatment. These factors along with other characteristics of the unique individual make treatment of bipolar illness difficult at best. I encourage a dialogue between individuals who can speak from their own experiences to keep the topic alive. I welcome comments regarding this post
April 25th, 2008 at 12:51 am
I fully agree with you. It’s for each individual to take control and make up their own mind. I’ve decided to go off my meds a while back, but I will definitely go back onto them if I needed to. I just find that the doctors that I go to (a couple) don’t fully explain what the side effects of the medication is. On the one hand I can understand why, because hypochondria is one of the symptoms of bipolar. I’ve managed to seperate my hypochondria from what is real (I think for the most part). I’ve mentioned in my blog that being in control is huge for me, and when a side effect whacks me on the side of the head, without me expecting it, I get real angry at my doctor. Surely, you have a level of trust, that works both ways? Not just “I’m the doctor and I know what’s best for you!” kinda relationship! If the doctor just took the time and explained what the chemicals can and can’t do, I can deal with what might happen. But now you’re diminished to a child, and the “room is dark” and there is no knowing what “monsters” are lurking about. He/she (doctor) has the power to switch the light on and show you that everything’s going to be OK. But somehow, they just don’t, even though you’ve tried to show them that you are taking control and responsibility for your illness. I realise that the pdoc is walking a tightrope at the best of times, because you as the patient, don’t always know what is best right at that moment. It’s a catch 22, I just wish that my doctor trusted me more. After all, it’s my life, my career and my relationships at risk. When I’m having a crisis 12 ‘o clock at night, his phone will be on voicemail while my life will be in the balance.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Was rather severely affected. I’ve never taken them. Eventually found other ways to cope. It’s better now.
I believe that mental medicine can be helpful for a very small percentage of the adult population, certainly not to the extent it is used these days. I strictly oppose the use of such medicine for children.
But I’ve never told anyone what to do or criticized them for their choices. I’m always happy to hear success stories.
Quite the opposite. The majority takes a dim view of unmedicated manic-depressives. There is not much support for people who do it this way.
April 25th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Simone, You are so correct about our right to have side effects explained to us. I am very lucky to have a pdoc who answers questions and provides information about the meds I take. I think it is worth searching for a pdoc who will listen and provide information about side effects. As for me I had several crises within 3 yrs. I crashed and have needed meds since. Maybe some day I can cut back on meds. Thanks for your comments. Annie
April 25th, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Amanda, Thank you for the comments. This issue of medication and manic depressive illness has differing opinions. I had been on very little medication most of my life. My mother was diagnosed with bipolar illness and I have tried to remain healthy all my adult life. Sometimes I get very depressed and medicine helps. You are welcome to come again to my site. Annie
April 28th, 2008 at 2:52 am
Annie, if it helps I’m all for it.
Thank you for your kind invitation, you have a beautiful place here.
April 28th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
Amanda, Thank you for the kind words about my site. I like to visit your site as well. You seem like a very special person. Annie
May 2nd, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Hi, I just love your insight and thanks for commenting on my blog. I have had some experience with “putting grief aside.” During a major episode by therapist introduced me to this very effective tool. It takes so much energy to grieve. I also have had experience with medication. I would not be alive today without it. When I started my blog, I did not realize there was an avid anti-medication debate erupting. Unfortunately, I got blasted by a few bloggers for what they felt was a careless promotion of medication. I am happy to have found you and appreciate your wealth of wisdom.
May 3rd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Lizzie, Welcome to my site. I appreciate your comments and sensitive perspective. I too have been blasted about promotion of medication. It seems unfair to expect that some folks with bipolar should feel “bad” about taking medication. I too would not be alive without taking meds. I think there are more of us out there than at first glance. Maybe more folks will speak up and have discussion about the positive side of meds. and alternative methods. They can go together.
I visit your site frequently and find your posts helpful. Thanks for your support. Annie
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:22 pm
“Wellness is my goal, not just survival”.
This beautifully sums up what bipolar is like for me. I’m so glad to have found your blog. You write so beautifully. It’s lovely to ‘meet’ you Annie.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Acorn, I am so glad you found me, I have read your posts and have enjoyed being at your site. I agree with you that Wellness is the goal!! I am glad the post offered a shared view of bipolar. Sometimes you have to have a perspective and then begin the healing work. Come again. Annie
June 9th, 2008 at 12:47 pm
My name is Michelle, 45, bipolar since 1997, live in Los Angeles.
Need advice, support and friendship from anyone who can relate to the struggles dealing with the up’s and down’s.
I haven’t worked since, 1997, furthermore, all I do each day, is cry, stay in my bed and feel sorry for myself.
Help.
michelle_lev@usa.com
June 9th, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Michelle, I am glad you are reaching out for support and help. I can offer feedback and support through blogs but as far as help in your city I do not know resources. I would suggest you go to a blog of someone who lives in California. The site is Bipolar Wellness Writer. She has many references and may offer help in your area. She has been depressed and will understand!
I encourage you to write back and connect with others that you read on my site. Just click on their name and read their blog. That is a first step in getting support on line.
Even though I am writing about wellness, I was very depressed this time last year. I can understand how much pain you are in and hope we can keep in touch. You have done the best thing possible-you reached out! Take care one step at a time. Annie
October 14th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Bipolar Disorder is a severe and complicated mental illness. It is important to get help and recognize the different treatment options available. The Silver Hill Hospital website has some helpful information and resources.