Therapy and Healing
April 13, 2008 3:17 pm Getting the Help You NeedMy thoughts lately have focused on my life long work as a therapist. After thirty years, my work ended abruptly when I had a serious rapid cycling episode and was hospitalized. I have fond memories of clients that I worked with throughout the years. I particularly remember those with bipolar illness. Some of them linger in my mind and I pause to send white light and hope to them on their journey. I worked primarily with adults and children. Some of the work with them seemed spiritual and self-healing. I viewed my role as a listener and a helper. At other times clients wanted specific direction and guidance about their illness and I walked them through their questions. Some clients needed education regarding their illness. Each of these kinds of experiences meant so much to me and I loved my job.
In my personal experience with bipolar illness I have had two therapists that have been like healers to me. They primarily helped me understand bipolar illness and how to take care for myself. Their words followed with me as I did therapy. My experience with these therapists was positive and made the difference in me being able to work for all these years. They had different approaches but the outcome was that I learned more about myself and bipolar illness. They both listened and helped me feel I was heard. They let me cry and comforted me while encouraging the growth of my personal power.
I believe we are all entitled to have therapy that is helpful. What each of us need may be different and it may take effort to find a therapist that is a good fit. It seems to me that therapy needs to help us take care of ourselves and about healing from the wounds of bipolar illness. If the therapist is not a good match it is very much ok to find a therapist that is a match and understands bipolar illness.
As I have read other blogs about folks with bipolar illness there has been very little about therapy as part of the recovery from bipolar. Some have identified seeing therapists but others have made no mention at all about therapy. So I am curious and would appreciate your comments about these questions. What part has therapy played in your understanding of bipolar illness? In what ways has therapy been helpful? How has therapy been disappointing? I will respond to your comments so feel free to say what you feel. Thank you for your comments.
April 14th, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Hi there. Therapy is for me the biggest “quick-fix” when I’m feeling really terrible. Obviously it’s not a short term thing, you’ve got to be in it for the long run. But it makes me feel better the quickest. I have a very good tdoc that I’ve been seeing for 7 years (on and off) until my medical aid rations for that runs out. In the beginning he focused a lot on cognitive behavioural therapy, but lately it’s been a lot of talking , sorting out reality and what is in my head. And of course relaxation. I can’t agree with you more about the importance of therapy when you are bipolar, and yes, you don’t hear people talking about good therapy helping them meaningfully.
April 14th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Simone, Thanks so much for the comment. It is good to hear that therapy is working for you. Cognitive behavioral therapy is very helpful for folks with bipolar. Maybe our talking about therapy will encourage others to talk as well. Sometimes people are in therapy that is not helpful and they don’t know that there are good therapists and they deserve a helpful match. Not every therapist knows how to work with bipolar. Thanks again! Annie
April 15th, 2008 at 6:52 am
I’ve heard so many people say that they just didn’t like their therapist. I must say, I had a good few that I was incompatable with. I think people forget the human element. Surely you can’t have somebody as a therapist that you don’t even like. I just went looking until I found one that worked for me.
Another thing I find very fascinating is the therapist/patient relationship. On the one hand, this person is like a friend, but yet you pay him/her to be your friend. The boundaries are very blurry to me. Maybe my therapist knows how to handle it without me even knowing. On the friend side, you feel sometimes limited. It feels e.g. strange to get angry with my therapist like you would with a “normal” friend. Yet, I’ve done so and it took me a long time to actually tell him that I was angry with him. I don’t know that I’m making sense. The issue was resolved very quickly, much easier in fact than I had made it out in my mind. Luckily I haven’t bumped into him in the street because I think that would be akward. Almost like bumping into your gynae while you’re shopping with your husband. LOLOL. I’m just saying that it’s a weird relationship that I don’t always know how to define.
April 15th, 2008 at 10:04 pm
My husband has bipolar, and I have borderline personality disorder. Neither of us have ever really been helped by one-on-one therapy. I know personally I feel “attacked” if the therapist questions my actions or thoughts. I can’t handle confrontation, so therapy has never worked for me. My husband is finding some success in a group therapy setting.
April 16th, 2008 at 12:50 am
I spent a couple years in therapy where they were looking at depression not realizing I was bi-polar and I think the therapy there was misdirected. I did grow but all the therapy in the world wont “cure” bi-polar ……. I ended up having ECT. Later I went back to another therapist who finally recognized that I WAS bi-polar but after that we didnt seem to have alot to talk about and I moved.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Raine, I think your experience is unfortunately the way it is for many folks. It must have been difficult to have been misdiagnosed. I don’t have a therapist right now but would like to do grief work, perhaps a group. Thanks for the comments.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:34 am
BPD IN OKC- It is sad that you felt confronted and did not find therapy helpful. Therapy is not intended to frighten folks but to help them feel accepted and to sort through things. Sorry it was a bad experience for you. I don’t like to be confronted either, especially if it is meant to be a safe place.
April 16th, 2008 at 11:54 am
Simone I agree with you that the relationship issues with a therapist are different than/but similar to a friendship. It seems to me that it is your therapists job to hear your anger and help with the other questions you have. I encourage you to let him know your overall concerns about the relationship. This is common for a therapist and he should know how to handle it with you.
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:23 pm
My therapy has been limited. I see a clinical psychologist manybe twice or three times a year to discuss particular issues that crop up, such as deciding whether to have children, or identifying work stress etc.
I’m going to see her this week with the aim of discussing what initially triggered my first depression and whether I’m still carrying unhelpful core beliefs that trigger episodes.
It’s only been til now that I’ve felt ready to look backwards. My first depression was aged 14 and I’m now almost 38 so it’s a lot to look back on.
June 3rd, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Acorn, Thank you for your comments. It must be hard to do therapy when you see your therapist so infrequently. But it does sound like you are working hard to be in balance. It takes a lot of courage to look back at our life as well as look forward. Take care! Annie
June 5th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
“the wounds of bipolar illness”
I find this statement very appropriate. I doubt many think of wounds when they think of bipolar disorder but knowing several people that live with this I know they have wounds. Sometimes they wish they could take back behaviors done during mania. They come back to a calmer ground and have to face all they’ve done, apologize for what they’ve done, reorganize their life and wait for the next mania episode so they can turn around and apologize again. No one walks away from such an existence unwounded. I’m happy you used the phrase you did.
Austin
June 5th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Austin, Thank you for such a sensitive and understanding post. Your words and phrasing are as poetic as your art is gifted. I enjoy your site and am glad you have found my site. Annie